Kâhjes – a Valentine blog

Nederlands

A  country without kâhjes, is a country in stagnation. And everyone knows that stagnation means decline, a country without kâhjes is therefore not just a nation in stagnation, it is declining land.
I don’t know if you have ever seen declined land, but I can assure you that it’s not a pretty sight! Declined land is land you realy don’t need.

How can you make sure that you can get a country out of this dreadful decline or – even better – won’t go in decline at all?
The answer is as obvious as the question itself, you ensure there never ever will be stagnation. ‘How’, I can hear you think.
A perpetual motion mechanism, innovation, foodconcentrates you might guess?
NO, NO, NO it is all very simple:
Just be certain that there are sufficient kâhjes, because a country without kâhjes, is a nation in stagnation, but a land with kâhjes? That is a completely different story.
Suppose, just suppose that a country doesn’t have a sufficient amount of them, what do you do, what do you do?
You make new kâhjes!!! Am I a genius or am I a genius?
The only practical problem is that the creature must be given a name, but that shouldn’t be a problem for us or will it?
Easy, problem is solved. If you have a name, you have a new kâhje, life is beautiful.
And in 35 days, it is springtime again 🙂

Early in the morning I pay a visit to the city hall, here also known as
El Ayuntamiento‘, to share my brilliant plan – a new kâhje – with everyone present.
They all look a bit cloudy when I explain about my eureka, my ingenious plan, ok, it is still early in the morning. I wait patiently until everyone finishes his or her ‘café solo‘ but then I start immediately and relentlessly my attack, armed with all the documentation and files I have put on paper.
‘This will certainly help’ I think, but nothing could be further from the truth.
With bulging eyes they stare at the dossier of 50 pages I have prepared. Mouths drop open, some people turn around en walk away, and before they leave ‘El Ayuntamiento‘ I hear some of the them mumble ‘loco loco‘ while they tap repeatedly their index finger on their temple.
Slowly, ever so slowly a tiny bit of doubt arises, ‘could there be a microscopic flaw in my otherwise brilliant plan?‘ I think for a short moment.
Then it drops, not a nickle, not a dime but a full bag of coins comes rushing in.

OFF COURSE, it is written differently over here!!! Why didn’t I think of this earlier! Over here they write kâhje as calle‘, the letter ‘c’ is pronounced as a ‘k’ and the double ‘l’ ( ll ) as a ‘j’; A kâhje is a calle‘!!!
Quickly I make the mistake undone, replace ‘kâhje’ on my laptop by ‘calle‘ (for the non-Spanish among us; a ‘calle’ is Spanish for a ‘street’),  I print the manuscript of 50 pages in 6-fold for all who are present, put it in a nice folder and write on each package the name of the official to add a personal touch (it always helps doesn’t it?).
I hand them in person over to everybody present, leave a spare stack on the front desk for the people who ran outside – as it turns out – to smoke a fag.
Approving mumbling arises from the crowd, one of the people claps in his hands, very softly. A colleague rapidly walks outside to fetch the runaways back in again.
Bedazzled the smokers enter the building, ‘Hè, what? did I miss anything? and what, how, where, when, why’  but mostly ‘Does it taste good’?
They catch up quickly as they get the revised version of the manuscript and in a few moments they are completely up to date.
Everyone is very excited and while they look at me they all shout simultaneously:

¿EL NOMBRE?

This is the moment I have been waiting for, I  pause a moment for a maximum impact, I clear my throat and say triumphantly:

El nombre de la calle es: la calle INEZ

in the mean time I lower my sunglasses and look very deep,
as I have learned from every episode of CSI Miami.
A calm, quiet silence is the result, one of the people carefully claps his hands, the rest follows rapidly and a deafening applause is the result. Sombrero’s fly through the open space, everybody shouts ‘Arriba, Arriba Arriba‘ (up, up, up). A few strong men lift me up, and high above the enthusiastic crowd I am carried around in city hall.

The birth of ‘la calle Inez‘ is a fact.

Delivery date: February 14th, Valentines day and coincidentally the birthday of a very good friend of me: Inez.

Happy birthday, happy valentine Inez, this street is yours!

Planning and execution sometimes follow different paths; The result was not ‘la calle Inez’ but ‘calle la Inés’. As compensation they added the municipal coat of arms of the city of Arrecife Lanzarote, isn’t that sweet? Currently on a warm February 14th it became a pleasant crowded street in the city centre.

For people who want to visit ‘calle la Ines‘  this and this are the links to google maps.

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