A country without kâhjes, is a country in stagnation. And everyone knows that stagnation means decline, a country without kâhjes is therefore not just a nation in stagnation, it is declining land.
I don’t know if you have ever seen declined land, but I can assure you that it’s not a pretty sight! Declined land is land you realy don’t need.
How can you make sure that you can get a country out of this dreadful decline or – even better – won’t go in decline at all?
The answer is as obvious as the question itself, you ensure there never ever will be stagnation. ‘How’, I can hear you think.
A perpetual motion mechanism, innovation, foodconcentrates you might guess?
NO, NO, NO it is all very simple:
Just be certain that there are sufficient kâhjes, because a country without kâhjes, is a nation in stagnation, but a land with kâhjes? That is a completely different story.
Suppose, just suppose that a country doesn’t have a sufficient amount of them, what do you do, what do you do?
You make new kâhjes!!! Am I a genius or am I a genius?
The only practical problem is that the creature must be given a name, but that shouldn’t be a problem for us or will it?
Easy, problem is solved. If you have a name, you have a new kâhje, life is beautiful.
And in 35 days, it is springtime again
Early in the morning I pay a visit to the city hall, here also known as
‘El Ayuntamiento‘, to share my brilliant plan – a new kâhje – with everyone present.
They all look a bit cloudy when I explain about my eureka, my ingenious plan, ok, it is still early in the morning. I wait patiently until everyone finishes his or her ‘café solo‘ but then I start immediately and relentlessly my attack, armed with all the documentation and files I have put on paper.
‘This will certainly help’ I think, but nothing could be further from the truth.
With bulging eyes they stare at the dossier of 50 pages I have prepared. Mouths drop open, some people turn around en walk away, and before they leave ‘El Ayuntamiento‘ I hear some of the them mumble ‘loco loco‘ while they tap repeatedly their index finger on their temple.
Slowly, ever so slowly a tiny bit of doubt arises, ‘could there be a microscopic flaw in my otherwise brilliant plan?‘ I think for a short moment.
Then it drops, not a nickle, not a dime but a full bag of coins comes rushing in.
OFF COURSE, it is written differently over here!!! Why didn’t I think of this earlier! Over here they write kâhje as ‘calle‘, the letter ‘c’ is pronounced as a ‘k’ and the double ‘l’ ( ll ) as a ‘j'; A kâhje is a ‘calle‘!!!
Quickly I make the mistake undone, replace ‘kâhje’ on my laptop by ‘calle‘ (for the non-Spanish among us; a ‘calle’ is Spanish for a ‘street’), I print the manuscript of 50 pages in 6-fold for all who are present, put it in a nice folder and write on each package the name of the official to add a personal touch (it always helps doesn’t it?).
I hand them in person over to everybody present, leave a spare stack on the front desk for the people who ran outside – as it turns out – to smoke a fag.
Approving mumbling arises from the crowd, one of the people claps in his hands, very softly. A colleague rapidly walks outside to fetch the runaways back in again.
Bedazzled the smokers enter the building, ‘Hè, what? did I miss anything? and what, how, where, when, why’ but mostly ‘Does it taste good’?‘
They catch up quickly as they get the revised version of the manuscript and in a few moments they are completely up to date.
Everyone is very excited and while they look at me they all shout simultaneously:
This is the moment I have been waiting for, I pause a moment for a maximum impact, I clear my throat and say triumphantly:
El nombre de la calle es: la calle INEZ
in the mean time I lower my sunglasses and look very deep,
as I have learned from every episode of CSI Miami.
A calm, quiet silence is the result, one of the people carefully claps his hands, the rest follows rapidly and a deafening applause is the result. Sombrero’s fly through the open space, everybody shouts ‘Arriba, Arriba Arriba‘ (up, up, up). A few strong men lift me up, and high above the enthusiastic crowd I am carried around in city hall.
The birth of ‘la calle Inez‘ is a fact.
Delivery date: February 14th, Valentines day and coincidentally the birthday of a very good friend of me: Inez.
Happy birthday, happy valentine Inez, this street is yours!